Sunday, December 4, 2016

Nov 2016: 43 Hashruns in 2016 and Counting

November 2nd, NOSE Hash #138 at the Hilltop Preservation in Verona, NJ: I arrived early enough to get an extra 3-4 mile run in before the other hashers showed up. The Preservation has some beautiful rolling trails full of rocks and switchbacks and a whole lot of wildlife; and, is the site of the former Essex Mountain TB Sanitarium from 1907-1977. Eleven hashers took part searching through the darkness for marks of flour on the trees and ground on our way to the awaiting beer stop. We all went to the Verona Inn for food and beverage after.


November 9th NOSE Hash #139 in Mahwah, NJ: The nights hare, Semper Feline, had laid what he described as a “Great 5 mile trail” in the woods for us; but, local law enforcement decided the park would close early that night so he quickly set a new trail of flour along the nearby roads. Since it was raining very hard the shorter course was well received by a few of the hashers since it meant an earlier trip to the Mason Jar Pub for the On-after and food and beer.
 
November 13th MDL Hash #9 “I Survived the Elections Hash” at Loveless Nature Preserve in Lawrenceville, NJ: I set a trail through approximately 6 miles of forest, streams, fields, powerlines and up over Rider Mountain, the highest point in the area which a whopping 40 feet above the rest. The trail also took the 4 hashers past a homemade survival shelter, through Rider University, around Centennial Lake and approximately ¼ mile of very thick thorns and brush that had them crawling to get through. I also included 2 well-received beer stops.

 (Wild women of the woods)
 (True trail)
 (Just a little shiggy!)
November 16th NOSE Hash #140 “Making Hashing Great Again Hash” on trails in the Mills Reservation in Cedar Grove, NJ: Douche Brag set a very nice trail full of rocks, brush, and lots of false trails to slow down the front runner keeping the pack of 17 close together. We all went to the Alexus Steakhouse & Tavern for the On-after.


November 19th Hockessin H3 “PubeHeAteHer’s 40th Birthday Hash” in Newark, DE: Approximately 30 showed up for the hash which included 2 beer stops and 2 shot-checks. The weather was great to start with temperatures close to 70 degrees but a cold front quickly changed that with temperatures dropping to low 30s by trails end. The On-after was at Pube and Necro’s house where about a dozen musicians jammed the night away in the basement.


 

(The birthday boy bang'n out the beat)
 
November 20th MDL Hash #10 “Roller Girl’s Pool Party Hash” in Browns Mills, NJ: On this day my daughter, Roller Girl, was to set her virgin trail in the woods near her house; but, she didn’t show up so I ended up setting trail for her. I set a 6 mile trail with plenty of stream crossing, swamp, roots, thick shiggy, firebreaks and sand. The trail also took the runners completely around the “Lake of the Woods” on Fort Dix, past the wreckage of the Tit-anic, and through the Deborah Hospital parking deck. I included 2 beer stops and 1 Jameson shot check along the way. Roller Girl staggered out of her door about 30 minutes late but since we hadn’t yet started we waited for her to get her running gear on. She achieved what I believe to be a hashing first; she was DLF “Dead F’n Last” twice in one hash being last to the hash and last to the finish. She paid dearly for that during the post-run accusations. The On-after was at Roller Girl’s house with plenty of pizza and beer. Did I mention she was DFL twice? I will not let her live it down!
 (Minus Roller Girl who was still sleeping at her own hash!)
(She finally woke up!)
 (The crash of the Tit-anic)
November 23rd NOSE #141 “Thanksgiving Eve Short Beer Mile Hash” in Tabor, NJ: It was held at the house of T&A. About 25 showed up for the hash and the beer tasting that followed. Everyone had to bring some type of beer they wanted to share with the group, the stranger the better.
 (Guinness on trail...best trail ever!)
November 27th Summit Hash #1765 “The 23rd Don’t Be a Turkey Hash” in Westfield, NJ: Dog Meat and Milk Bone set a very nice trail around Westfield which included both road and trail. This was a kid-friendly hash and there were about a dozen “Future hashers” in attendance. The On-after was at the Station Bar & Grill in nearby Garwood, NJ. Dog Meat and Milk Bone arranged for a great buffet dinner for everyone and I got to watch my New England Patriots beat the New York Jets so it was a truly great night!
 
 
 

November 30th NOSE Hash #142 in Morristown, NJ: Lumber set a trail which took the 12 hashers through some very rich neighborhoods, through thick forest, past a lit Christmas tree in the woods, and over the nearby hills before finally returning to our cars. She also included 1 beer/shot check along the way. The weather was not nice. It was cold and raining very hard. Luckily there was a gazebo in the parking lot where we held circle and got into dry cloths. The On-after was at the Revolution Bar where we ate dinner and tried out many different craft beers.




 (Not the only wet balls on trail that night)
I also ran my first race in months. My team, the Pineland Striders travelled to Wilmington, DE on November 26th for the Delaware 5K Cross Country Championships. This was the last race in the USATF Mid-Atlantic Off-Road Series. I ran alright for not doing any speed work this year nor really having any desire to race; but, it was great to be back out with the team. There were four races on this day including a 1.1 mile kid’s race, the Women’s 5K, Open 5K, and Men’s Master 5K. Our team placed 4th  which put us 4th overall for the series.   


So there we have it, 43 Hashruns down, 7 to go to hit my goal of 50 for the year. In the words of my high school cross country coach, Russ Pickering, I will "Get It Done"!

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Forget PRs I’m trying for a PHR

When I was racing all the time, like most runners, I was always trying to break another Personal Record or PR. I was always trying to push my pace, go faster up the hill, run more repeats, or do more speed work. Unfortunately it became just that…work. So, after having my left Achilles reattached I refocused my goals for this year. After having such a great time running 6 Hashruns between April and June I decided to focus this year on Hashing. Besides Hashruns combine my two favorite activities, running and drinking beer. I had 12 Hashruns planned for October and then life got in the way; so once again I hit 9 Hashes last month. Nine seems to be the invisible ceiling I keep hitting but I will break it. I will break my PHR. I will achieve a new “Personal Hash Record”.

October started with an amazingly fun weekend. Summit Hash House Harriers (H3) hosted a “No Frills Interhash Campout at Harmony Ridge Campground in Branchville, NJ September 30 – October 2. Roughly 40 Hashers attended from such groups as Summit, NOSE, Rumson “The Hells Angels of Hashing”, MDL, Princeton, ASSS, H5, Bimbos of Jersey, DC Road Whores, Summit Full Moon, Jersey Whores and Flour City. Hopefully I didn’t miss any or I’ll have to pay for it later for not mentioning them. The weekend included a run on Friday evening, a run on Saturday afternoon, a “Midnight Naked Run”, and a stagger around the park Sunday morning (I chose to sleep in). There was great food, great beer, great bonfire, beautiful scenery (minus the Naked run) and an amazing group of people! Douche Brag and Wet Spot did a super job putting this groovy event together. This event should happen every weekend.

After we tore down and packed everything up Sunday morning 9 of us stopped at Reilly’s Pub in Newton, NJ for the "NOSE Meets The ASSS" Hash hosted by NOSEH3 and ASSSH3. It was planned to start at noon but since the hare, Kojak, was still drinking with us at the campground at 12:30 we took our time getting there. We gave Kojak about a 20 minute head start before we left so he’d have time to set trail.

 (This is why she doesn't normally wear shoes)
I continued “Picking the NOSE” by running with the North of Seventy Eight group every Wednesday in October. On Wednesday the 5th, 10 of us ran NOSE #134 which will forever be known as “The Hot Tub Hash” in Denville, NJ. Stevie Nicks set a great trail through some power line shiggy, bush whacking our way through dense woods before returning to Stevie’s house for a BBQ and beers in the outdoor hot tub.
On Wednesday the 12th, 16 Hashers made our way to NOSE #135 in Morris Plains, NJ for a 5 mile run hared by Anal. It was great trail with plenty of shiggy and bush whacking and only a little pavement, much to my liking. We found a “Pet Cemetery” in the woods that would make even Steven King cringe. We fully expected to be assaulted by a group of satanic clowns before making our way to the 20 foot tall, cement “Trump Wall”. It was a “Huge wall”…a “Great wall”…built to keep all the illegal animals off Interstate 80 and “Everybody was talking about it”. I’m not sure but I had heard that Mexico actually paid for it. Our On-after was at the nearby Hoovers Cocktails, Morris counties oldest family owned bar.

 


I ran for the first time with Princeton H3 on Sunday October 16. Go 4 Hole and Auto Erotica hared some beautiful trail around Burlington County’s newest park, Crystal Lake Park in Mansfield, NJ. I was surprised to find such rolling terrain this far south in Jersey. Seven Hashers and 2 dogs ran and then enjoyed a great BBQ under the new pavilion. I believe it was Suck Me Up that fell on one of the down hills leaving blood on trail so you know it was good!
Wednesday the 19th, In the Bush hared NOSE #136 starting at the Bee Meadow School in Whippany, NJ. Trail was the usual Bush trail…confusing. Marks were faded or missing but we all made it to the beer stop which was a good thing since we would need the added nourishment for our way back. Everyone missed a check point on the way back. Lesson for future hares…don’t mark a chalk circle around a manhole cover and expect anyone to see it at night! Actually I thought it was pretty funny. Our On-after was at Billy and Madeline’s “Red Room” Tavern.

 (I earned my shirt...I'm officially a NOSE picker!)
Next up, I set trail in Wrightstown, NJ on Friday October 21st for MDL #7 “FLAT’s Birthday-eve” Night Hash. We met for a Pre-lube at Kelly’s Bar before I sent the group on their way. They found beer stop 1 at Thunderbird Lanes bowling alley. Trail to this point was very easy to follow with only a couple check points. The fun was to be found on the next section which I had included some single-track trail, an abandoned train bridge, an out and back loop around a septic leach field (”Yum”) and bush whacking through some nasty mud, water and chest-high vegetation. Beer stop 2 was to be at Bunky’s Pub; but, for some reason they were closed even after I had conformed they would be open. Luckily, the last beer stop was back at Kelly’s only a quarter mile away. I’d like to say thank you to Roller Girl, Wet Spot, Dog E. Style, Great Sex and Rear End Wrangler for coming out for this “Pop-up” event and making the night a great one!
(Marking trail) 
Two days later, on October 23rd, I hared the MDL #8 Hash from Mayo’s Halfway House in Chatsworth, NJ. I messed with the pack of 10 right from the start by laying a quarter mile false trail. After back tracking they finally found my true trail and were on their way to beer stop 1 at the Fire Tower. The Park Rangers were in the tower and let us go to the top for some nice photos. After downing some beverage and snacks the pack took off on what they assumed would be more easy trail. They assumed wrong, “Ha ha ha”! This section included some very thick shiggy. At one point they had to crawl through the prickers in order to enter a marshy section. At the end of the marsh, they found even more shiggy before getting to my first “Chicken-Eagle” split. The eagles ran an extra half mile before reconnecting with the chickens on the way to beer stop 2. I also placed 2 “Shot Checks” along the trail. When the Front Running Bastard (FRB) found the shot check, he or she had to take the 2 shots back to the last person where they’d consume the shots before continuing on.  After beer stop 2 the trail back split once more with the chickens running straight back along a dirt road to Mayo’s. The eagles followed a bunch of twisting fire break trails that eventually ended across the road from Mayo’s. All together the FRBs had run about 7 miles with the rest of the group running about 5.5 miles. Everybody hung out at Mayo’s for a couple hours enjoying the great food and beers in this really fun “Piney” bar.
 



(Enjoying my birthday Down-down)
My final Hash of the month was once again with NOSE. NOSE #137 was a Halloween Costume Pub Crawl Hash around Rockaway, NJ. Twatever led the 12 of us to Adam’s Beer Garden, The Exchange and the Tavern on the Rocks. The funniest part of the night was when Slutty Nose came dressed like one of our other Hashers, Stretch. He dressed like Stretch, wore a wig that looked like Stretch, and acted like Stretch…perfect!


So there we have it, 9 more hashes in October. My goal is 10 in one month but so far it has eluded me. I continue to post the number 10 in all the rooms around my house, at work and in my vehicle so everywhere I look I am reminded of my next goal. I chant the number 10 while meditating and even turn the lights on and off 10 times. Everything is focused on 10. I will break through that damn 9-hash ceiling that’s haunted me for months now. I will achieve that next PHR. I will Hash 10 times in one month. In the meantime, I’ll be practicing. Run, drink, repeat. On-on!