Forget PRs I’m trying for a PHR

When I was racing all the time, like most runners, I was always trying to break another Personal Record or PR. I was always trying to push my pace, go faster up the hill, run more repeats, or do more speed work. Unfortunately it became just that…work. So, after having my left Achilles reattached I refocused my goals for this year. After having such a great time running 6 Hashruns between April and June I decided to focus this year on Hashing. Besides Hashruns combine my two favorite activities, running and drinking beer. I had 12 Hashruns planned for October and then life got in the way; so once again I hit 9 Hashes last month. Nine seems to be the invisible ceiling I keep hitting but I will break it. I will break my PHR. I will achieve a new “Personal Hash Record”.

October started with an amazingly fun weekend. Summit Hash House Harriers (H3) hosted a “No Frills Interhash Campout at Harmony Ridge Campground in Branchville, NJ September 30 – October 2. Roughly 40 Hashers attended from such groups as Summit, NOSE, Rumson “The Hells Angels of Hashing”, MDL, Princeton, ASSS, H5, Bimbos of Jersey, DC Road Whores, Summit Full Moon, Jersey Whores and Flour City. Hopefully I didn’t miss any or I’ll have to pay for it later for not mentioning them. The weekend included a run on Friday evening, a run on Saturday afternoon, a “Midnight Naked Run”, and a stagger around the park Sunday morning (I chose to sleep in). There was great food, great beer, great bonfire, beautiful scenery (minus the Naked run) and an amazing group of people! Douche Brag and Wet Spot did a super job putting this groovy event together. This event should happen every weekend.

After we tore down and packed everything up Sunday morning 9 of us stopped at Reilly’s Pub in Newton, NJ for the "NOSE Meets The ASSS" Hash hosted by NOSEH3 and ASSSH3. It was planned to start at noon but since the hare, Kojak, was still drinking with us at the campground at 12:30 we took our time getting there. We gave Kojak about a 20 minute head start before we left so he’d have time to set trail.

 (This is why she doesn't normally wear shoes)

I continued “Picking the NOSE” by running with the North of Seventy Eight group every Wednesday in October. On Wednesday the 5^th, 10 of us ran NOSE #134 which will forever be known as “The Hot Tub Hash” in Denville, NJ. Stevie Nicks set a great trail through some power line shiggy, bush whacking our way through dense woods before returning to Stevie’s house for a BBQ and beers in the outdoor hot tub.

On Wednesday the 12^th, 16 Hashers made our way to NOSE #135 in Morris Plains, NJ for a 5 mile run hared by Anal. It was great trail with plenty of shiggy and bush whacking and only a little pavement, much to my liking. We found a “Pet Cemetery” in the woods that would make even Steven King cringe. We fully expected to be assaulted by a group of satanic clowns before making our way to the 20 foot tall, cement “Trump Wall”. It was a “Huge wall”…a “Great wall”…built to keep all the illegal animals off Interstate 80 and “Everybody was talking about it”. I’m not sure but I had heard that Mexico actually paid for it. Our On-after was at the nearby Hoovers Cocktails, Morris counties oldest family owned bar.

 

I ran for the first time with Princeton H3 on Sunday October 16. Go 4 Hole and Auto Erotica hared some beautiful trail around Burlington County’s newest park, Crystal Lake Park in Mansfield, NJ. I was surprised to find such rolling terrain this far south in Jersey. Seven Hashers and 2 dogs ran and then enjoyed a great BBQ under the new pavilion. I believe it was Suck Me Up that fell on one of the down hills leaving blood on trail so you know it was good!

Wednesday the 19^th, In the Bush hared NOSE #136 starting at the Bee Meadow School in Whippany, NJ. Trail was the usual Bush trail…confusing. Marks were faded or missing but we all made it to the beer stop which was a good thing since we would need the added nourishment for our way back. Everyone missed a check point on the way back. Lesson for future hares…don’t mark a chalk circle around a manhole cover and expect anyone to see it at night! Actually I thought it was pretty funny. Our On-after was at Billy and Madeline’s “Red Room” Tavern.

 (I earned my shirt...I'm officially a NOSE picker!)

Next up, I set trail in Wrightstown, NJ on Friday October 21^st for MDL #7 “FLAT’s Birthday-eve” Night Hash. We met for a Pre-lube at Kelly’s Bar before I sent the group on their way. They found beer stop 1 at Thunderbird Lanes bowling alley. Trail to this point was very easy to follow with only a couple check points. The fun was to be found on the next section which I had included some single-track trail, an abandoned train bridge, an out and back loop around a septic leach field (”Yum”) and bush whacking through some nasty mud, water and chest-high vegetation. Beer stop 2 was to be at Bunky’s Pub; but, for some reason they were closed even after I had conformed they would be open. Luckily, the last beer stop was back at Kelly’s only a quarter mile away. I’d like to say thank you to Roller Girl, Wet Spot, Dog E. Style, Great Sex and Rear End Wrangler for coming out for this “Pop-up” event and making the night a great one!

(Marking trail) 

Two days later, on October 23^rd, I hared the MDL #8 Hash from Mayo’s Halfway House in Chatsworth, NJ. I messed with the pack of 10 right from the start by laying a quarter mile false trail. After back tracking they finally found my true trail and were on their way to beer stop 1 at the Fire Tower. The Park Rangers were in the tower and let us go to the top for some nice photos. After downing some beverage and snacks the pack took off on what they assumed would be more easy trail. They assumed wrong, “Ha ha ha”! This section included some very thick shiggy. At one point they had to crawl through the prickers in order to enter a marshy section. At the end of the marsh, they found even more shiggy before getting to my first “Chicken-Eagle” split. The eagles ran an extra half mile before reconnecting with the chickens on the way to beer stop 2. I also placed 2 “Shot Checks” along the trail. When the Front Running Bastard (FRB) found the shot check, he or she had to take the 2 shots back to the last person where they’d consume the shots before continuing on.  After beer stop 2 the trail back split once more with the chickens running straight back along a dirt road to Mayo’s. The eagles followed a bunch of twisting fire break trails that eventually ended across the road from Mayo’s. All together the FRBs had run about 7 miles with the rest of the group running about 5.5 miles. Everybody hung out at Mayo’s for a couple hours enjoying the great food and beers in this really fun “Piney” bar.

 

(Enjoying my birthday Down-down)

My final Hash of the month was once again with NOSE. NOSE #137 was a Halloween Costume Pub Crawl Hash around Rockaway, NJ. Twatever led the 12 of us to Adam’s Beer Garden, The Exchange and the Tavern on the Rocks. The funniest part of the night was when Slutty Nose came dressed like one of our other Hashers, Stretch. He dressed like Stretch, wore a wig that looked like Stretch, and acted like Stretch…perfect!

So there we have it, 9 more hashes in October. My goal is 10 in one month but so far it has eluded me. I continue to post the number 10 in all the rooms around my house, at work and in my vehicle so everywhere I look I am reminded of my next goal. I chant the number 10 while meditating and even turn the lights on and off 10 times. Everything is focused on 10. I will break through that damn 9-hash ceiling that’s haunted me for months now. I will achieve that next PHR. I will Hash 10 times in one month. In the meantime, I’ll be practicing. Run, drink, repeat. On-on!