Dec 2016: Goal Achieved

Goal achieved! On July 1^st I set a goal of running 50 hashruns for 2017; and, on December 18^th I realized my goal. I actually finished 52 by year’s end. Here’s how December went:

On Thursday, December 1^st I travelled down to Washington D.C. to attend the Albanian Independence celebration. As soon as I found out I was going I started my internet search for a Hashrun I might attend. I found out that Everyday is Wednesday Hash House Harriers (EWH3) run on Thursdays and they were hashing in nearby Bethesda. I quickly left my travelling partners at the hotel and found my way to the Red Line train. As soon as I got off the train and ran up to the street level I found an arrow pointing to the gathering place where some 60-80 hashers were milling around. The theme for their 977^th Hashrun was “Farewell to Fidel” since he had recently died. Setting a diabolical mix of true and false trails were: Pinocchi-Ho; Goldman Ballsacks; Atari 6900; Don’t Ask, Don’t Smell; Just Hanna; Just Franny. They took us down busy streets, walkways, alleys and numerous parking decks. Thankfully they also included 2 beer stops and 2 shot checks. The On-after was at the Barking Dog Pub where I hung out with fellow visiting hasher, Dazed and Confused from the Beijing Hash House Harriers. A couple of local hashers were kind enough to ensure I made it back to the Red Line for the last train back to D.C.

(Fidel hanging with the hashers) 

(Here I am with my new friend "Dazed and Confused" from the Beijing Hashers).

On Wednesday December 7^th I made my way up to Woodland Park, NJ for the North of Seventy Eight (NOSE) hash #143. I arrived early enough to get in an extra run on nearby Garret Mountain Reservation and checked out the views from Lambert Tower. Just Guido laid a fantastic trail in the historic Rifle Camp Park where Washington’s troops used the elevation vantage to observe British movements during the Revolutionary War in 1780. Trail included great views off northern NJ and New York City’s night skyline. We went to Joey McBride’s Pub Bar & Grill for the on-after where 2 of our hashers participated in the Open Mike night, after much bantering. Nocturnal Emissions delighted the crowd with his vocals as he sang the Sound of Silence. Just Guido on the other hand put the likes of Stevie Wonder and Elton John to shame as his fingers banged out the tunes on the keyboard, song after song. This earned him his new hash name, Finger Bang Her.  

(NOSE #143) 

 (Beer with a view)

On Saturday December 10^th I travelled north to River Road Park in Bedminster, NJ for the Summit Hash #1767. Fourteen hashers braved the frigid temperatures and cold winds. Secaucless set a great trail which included thick forest, open pastures and horse paths.

 (Summit #1767)

On Tuesday December 13^th I again joined Summit H3, this time for their monthly Full Moon Hash. We gathered at the Galloping Hill Hot Dog restaurant in Union, NJ. True trail ended up being about 6.5 miles with some of us running closer to 8 while we searched for trail marks. We passed through one neighborhood that stunk of so much weed that I almost thought I was back home in Jamaica.

 (Summit Full Moon)

The next day, Wednesday December 14^th I drove north to Millburn, NJ for the NOSE Hash #145. The hare, Deer Bitch, did not use traditional hash markings. Instead he wrote clues around town telling us where to go next (i.e. “Fire” clued us to go to the Fire Dept or “PO” for the Post Office). Since none of us were familiar with the area we had to ask people for help as we passed them on the street. We eventually climbed our way up to the top of South Mountain were we enjoyed a beer stop with another fantastic view. All but three of us opted to run back to town using the roads. Three of us followed true trail back by literally running down the Rahway River, through the canal, and passing under 5 bridges and even one building before climbing back up to street level. The on-after was held at Liberty Tavern. This place was awesome! Not only did they have Guinness on tap; but, the juke box had the long versions of Led Zeppelin’s “Dazed and Confused” (28 minutes) and Iron Butterfly’s “In a Gadda Da Vida” (17 minutes). Oh, and the owner gave us all free shots of Jameson! How cool is that?

 (Kings of the Mountain)

 (Quick break before passing through another tunnel)

Saturday December 17^th I travelled to Metuchen, NJ for the Summit Hash #1769…who said 69? Trail weaved its way through street and woods, through Centennial Park, and ended with a pot luck dinner and Secret Santa gift exchange.

 (Summit #1769)

 (Post run party)

The next day, Sunday December 18^th, I achieved my goal as I hit my 50^th hash for the year when I travelled to Roosevelt, NJ for a combination MDL/ Bimbos of Jersey/ Princeton hashrun. Rear End Wrangler set a fantastic trail which included stream crossings, lots of false trails, hills, fields, and lots of home brew and a pot luck dinner.

 (Pre-run photo)

 (One of the many water crossings)

 (These ladies were so happy to see the "Beer Near" sign)

On Wednesday December 21^st I drove up to Morristown, NJ for the NOSE Hash #146 “Holiday Pajama Pub Crawl”. Fifteen runners showed off their pajamas to the town as we stopped at the Hops Craft Beer & Wine Bar, Revolution Bar, Sona Thirteen, and the Famished Frog.

 (NOSE Pajama Pub Crawl)

My last hash for 2017 was our own MDL Hash #12. Bragadeer General set trail in the Brendan T. Byrne State Forest. We had 2 beer stops along the 6 mile route which circled Lebanon Lakes, crossed icy streams and passed through old cranberry bogs. The 8 hashers and 4 traildogs congregated at Bragadeer’s house for dinner and drinks. The deer meat and chili was awesome!

(Beer stop)

 (Blood on trail)

(Swans)

(Traildog Sparta wanted to play with the swans)

 (Honda the Aussie and Roller Girl crossing the bog)

That’s it, 52 hashes, goal achieved! Hello 2017.



H.A.S.H. Hash, Hash, Hash!

After a slow month of hashing in August, I ran 7 Hash runs in September. I ran with Bimbos of Jersey H3, MDL H3, Summit H3, Rumson H3 (The Hells Angels of Hashing), and I even “Picked the NOSE” 4 times. NOSE or "North Of Seventy Eight" are so named because they almost always run north of Interstate 78 which crosses the northern part of New Jersey. I’ll start this month' recap with the NOSE hashes. September 1^st I drove up to Short Hills, NJ. Deer Bitch once again set trail for NOSE #127, this time taking us thru the Short Hills Train Station tunnel and winded our way up and down the single-track trails inside the beautiful Cora Hartshorn Arboretum & Bird Sanctuary.

 

 

 (Trail down thru the train tunnel)

 (Dinner after the hash)

Next, NOSE switched from Thursdays to Wednesdays for the winter. NOSE #129 was held in Morristown, NJ and hared by Wet Spot. I arrived a little early only to find myself being questioned by the police as to why there were weird marks on the ground near me made from some unknown white powder. Some local kids had found it and called 911 reporting that someone had thrown "Handfuls of Anthrax around the parking lot". I explained to them that there was a running club doing a trail run and that our host had used biodegradable flour to mark the trail. I left out the part that we would be consuming beer on trail as that might have caused another problem.  The rest of the hashers arrived at the parking lot just as the police were leaving and we all had a good laugh about it. Wet Spot's trail took us thru the beautiful trails of Jockey Hollow Top Preserve and the surrounding hills with one beer stop at a cute little abandoned school house. Then we finished the last ¾ miles up the steep and winding Bailey Hollow Road.

(The motley crew)

 (Into the shiggy)

 (Unofficial pit stop; I wish they were throwing away some Guinness)

 

NOSE #130 was short but not without its own memorable moments. Anal set trail which took us on a pub crawl around and thru the Rockaway Mall. The 10 of us made our way into Red Robin Pub, around the hectic children's carousel area, and finally to Buffalo Wild Wings, which was going to be only beer stop number 2. It quickly became our last stop as well as our On-after once we found out it was $2 draft night…all drafts, even Guinness! Nuff said.

 

 ($2 drafts...including Guinness!!!)

NOSE #131 turned into a very dark search for the flour trail on a damp and overcast night. Towelless set trail in Whippany, NJ thru some interesting roads and trails including under a bridge, thru head-high shiggy, a very dark forest, crossing a slippery stream, and even under a train! We had pizza delivered to the parking lot for the On-after.

 (Trail went under the train)

MDL H3 Hash #6 took place at Presidential Lakes and was hared and hosted by Bragadeer General. Relying on our headlamps, we set off around 8pm into the surrounding forest. We ran mostly single-track trail and fire breaks, thru sand pit and swamp stopping off twice for some adult beverage. Cuff Diver and myself were first to the “J-check” where we found mixed shot bottles. We had to run them back to the last person and consume the shots before continuing on. Bragadeer and his wife Just Sharon graciously hosted us with a great BBQ, a warm fire and plenty of cold beer.

(Beer stop #1 with Traildog Sparta aka "Autofelatio")

  (One of the stream crossings)

 (My new hash pants!)

Bimbos of Jersey held the "Pre-Papoose Memorial Hash - Hash” in Highlands, NJ. The Pre-lube and On-after were hosted by Whomp’em in the private lot next to her shop, Gert’s Snacks & Spices. It was a small group but what a great group it was! In attendance were: Rear end Wrangler, Great Sex, In the Bush, Wet Spot, Jersey A$$hole, Dog-E Style, Whomp’em and myself "F.L.A.T.".  Wrangler set a short 2 mile trail thru town with beer stops at the Inland Café, the town beach and Andy’s Shore Bar before returning back to Gert’s where most camped for the night. Someone practiced at the beach beer stop for the next day’s “Clothing Optional” hash by skinny dipping. I heard the name was F’s like a Tank? Oh, wait…that’s me. Ha, any excuse to get naked. On a serious side, Gert is a fantastic cook and if she is reading this…thank you again, your food was great!

 (Beer stop #1, Inland Café)

 (Beer stop #2, the site of the lone skinny dipper)

 (Beer stop #3, Andy' Shore Bar)

The next day, about 30 hashers from around the state showed up for the annual Papoose Memorial Hash at Gunnison “Clothing Optional” Beach on Sandy Hook, NJ. This was a combination Rumson and Summit production. Elephant D**k laid trail taking us thru the Old Barracks area, past the Light House, thru the Gun Batteries, and to the new Viewing Tower on the north end before ending on the “Clothing Optional” part of the beach. Whomp’em once again supplied the great feast for those of us that stayed to enjoy the beach and the scenery…well some of the scenery anyways. Those in attendance that I can remember included: everyone from the previous night Rear end Wrangler, Great Sex, In the Bush, Wet Spot, Jersey A$$hole, Dog-E Style, Whom’em and myself. Also attending were: Elephant D**K, G.I., Mr. Jackson, No Genitals, P**sy Destroyer, Just Karen, Just Harold, Chili, Riverman, Miscat, Butt Naked, Nearly Dead and Pinto. Unfortunately I didn’t catch the other names. This was definitely my favorite hash of the month because I could run, drink beer and get naked! The perfect day.

 

 (The Old Barracks)

 (Sandy Hook Lighthouse)

 (The Old Gun Batteries)

(Shameless selfie)

The pictures from the naked beach will not be shared here; but, I must say I did look damn good!

August Hash Report

On-On, August was a slow hash month for me as I only made it to three events. I travelled to Garwood and Short Hills, NJ to run with the NOSE (North of Seventy Eight) H3 group. I like running in north Jersey because I can usually get in a good hill workout while drinking their beer, a great combination! The hash on Thursday August 18 was a combination Summit Full Moon H3, Summit H3, and NOSE H3 effort. No Genitals and Semper Feline set a nice trail thru the streets of Garwood with a single beer stop near Unami Park. We finished the night up with the On-after at the Station Bar & Grill. The following Thursday night I headed up to Short Hills, NJ for NOSE #126 hared by Deer Bitch. Luckily he pre-layed the trail because he had to leave quickly due to an emergency. Since Deer Bitch was also to be at the beer stop we were left pondering if we were actually expected to run the entire 3-4 mile trail without beer. Luckily, Douche Brag volunteered to carry everyone’s beer in a backpack so we wouldn’t go thirsty. Disaster avoided! We had the On-after at Scotty’s Pub & Comedy Cove in Springfield, NJ.

(Beer in the backpack and ready to run)

(Modern-day petroglyph?)

 

My third and final hash for August was with MDL (McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst) H3 on Saturday 27th. My dog, Traildog Sparta, and I co-hared a 5 mile trail at our favorite place to run, historic Whites Bog, NJ. We had a small turnout of only 9 counting the 2 dogs but good nonetheless. Bragadeer General and his dog Lager Dog (aka Traildog Danny), Tin Tin, Cunning Linguist, Kojak, Just James, Just Marie, Traildog Sparta and myself. I usually live-hare the trails but on this day I chose to pre-lay it so I could man the 3 beer stops. That’s right…we had 3 beer stops on the 5 mile trail! The second beer stop was set up on what I call Beer Island; but, on this day Beer Island was under water so what to do? Set it up there anyways (picture below). Besides, the water felt great on the 90 degree day. Another memorable moment that day was that my dog Traildog Sparta earned his hash name, “Autofelatio” at the circle. He earned it because he can! Finally, the evening ended with a live concert behind the Whitesbog General Store where Full Moon Risin’ played for about 2 hours.

(Setting trail)

(Traildog Sparta suggested this section of trail)

 (True trail)

 (Shiggy section)

(Traildog Sparta also added this section of trail)

 (Beer Island was underwater)

 (We used Beer Island anyways)

 (Full Moon Risin' first set)

(Full Moon Risin' second set)