H.A.S.H. Hash, Hash, Hash!

After a slow month of hashing in August, I ran 7 Hash runs in September. I ran with Bimbos of Jersey H3, MDL H3, Summit H3, Rumson H3 (The Hells Angels of Hashing), and I even “Picked the NOSE” 4 times. NOSE or "North Of Seventy Eight" are so named because they almost always run north of Interstate 78 which crosses the northern part of New Jersey. I’ll start this month' recap with the NOSE hashes. September 1^st I drove up to Short Hills, NJ. Deer Bitch once again set trail for NOSE #127, this time taking us thru the Short Hills Train Station tunnel and winded our way up and down the single-track trails inside the beautiful Cora Hartshorn Arboretum & Bird Sanctuary.

 

 

 (Trail down thru the train tunnel)

 (Dinner after the hash)

Next, NOSE switched from Thursdays to Wednesdays for the winter. NOSE #129 was held in Morristown, NJ and hared by Wet Spot. I arrived a little early only to find myself being questioned by the police as to why there were weird marks on the ground near me made from some unknown white powder. Some local kids had found it and called 911 reporting that someone had thrown "Handfuls of Anthrax around the parking lot". I explained to them that there was a running club doing a trail run and that our host had used biodegradable flour to mark the trail. I left out the part that we would be consuming beer on trail as that might have caused another problem.  The rest of the hashers arrived at the parking lot just as the police were leaving and we all had a good laugh about it. Wet Spot's trail took us thru the beautiful trails of Jockey Hollow Top Preserve and the surrounding hills with one beer stop at a cute little abandoned school house. Then we finished the last ¾ miles up the steep and winding Bailey Hollow Road.

(The motley crew)

 (Into the shiggy)

 (Unofficial pit stop; I wish they were throwing away some Guinness)

 

NOSE #130 was short but not without its own memorable moments. Anal set trail which took us on a pub crawl around and thru the Rockaway Mall. The 10 of us made our way into Red Robin Pub, around the hectic children's carousel area, and finally to Buffalo Wild Wings, which was going to be only beer stop number 2. It quickly became our last stop as well as our On-after once we found out it was $2 draft night…all drafts, even Guinness! Nuff said.

 

 ($2 drafts...including Guinness!!!)

NOSE #131 turned into a very dark search for the flour trail on a damp and overcast night. Towelless set trail in Whippany, NJ thru some interesting roads and trails including under a bridge, thru head-high shiggy, a very dark forest, crossing a slippery stream, and even under a train! We had pizza delivered to the parking lot for the On-after.

 (Trail went under the train)

MDL H3 Hash #6 took place at Presidential Lakes and was hared and hosted by Bragadeer General. Relying on our headlamps, we set off around 8pm into the surrounding forest. We ran mostly single-track trail and fire breaks, thru sand pit and swamp stopping off twice for some adult beverage. Cuff Diver and myself were first to the “J-check” where we found mixed shot bottles. We had to run them back to the last person and consume the shots before continuing on. Bragadeer and his wife Just Sharon graciously hosted us with a great BBQ, a warm fire and plenty of cold beer.

(Beer stop #1 with Traildog Sparta aka "Autofelatio")

  (One of the stream crossings)

 (My new hash pants!)

Bimbos of Jersey held the "Pre-Papoose Memorial Hash - Hash” in Highlands, NJ. The Pre-lube and On-after were hosted by Whomp’em in the private lot next to her shop, Gert’s Snacks & Spices. It was a small group but what a great group it was! In attendance were: Rear end Wrangler, Great Sex, In the Bush, Wet Spot, Jersey A$$hole, Dog-E Style, Whomp’em and myself "F.L.A.T.".  Wrangler set a short 2 mile trail thru town with beer stops at the Inland Café, the town beach and Andy’s Shore Bar before returning back to Gert’s where most camped for the night. Someone practiced at the beach beer stop for the next day’s “Clothing Optional” hash by skinny dipping. I heard the name was F’s like a Tank? Oh, wait…that’s me. Ha, any excuse to get naked. On a serious side, Gert is a fantastic cook and if she is reading this…thank you again, your food was great!

 (Beer stop #1, Inland Café)

 (Beer stop #2, the site of the lone skinny dipper)

 (Beer stop #3, Andy' Shore Bar)

The next day, about 30 hashers from around the state showed up for the annual Papoose Memorial Hash at Gunnison “Clothing Optional” Beach on Sandy Hook, NJ. This was a combination Rumson and Summit production. Elephant D**k laid trail taking us thru the Old Barracks area, past the Light House, thru the Gun Batteries, and to the new Viewing Tower on the north end before ending on the “Clothing Optional” part of the beach. Whomp’em once again supplied the great feast for those of us that stayed to enjoy the beach and the scenery…well some of the scenery anyways. Those in attendance that I can remember included: everyone from the previous night Rear end Wrangler, Great Sex, In the Bush, Wet Spot, Jersey A$$hole, Dog-E Style, Whom’em and myself. Also attending were: Elephant D**K, G.I., Mr. Jackson, No Genitals, P**sy Destroyer, Just Karen, Just Harold, Chili, Riverman, Miscat, Butt Naked, Nearly Dead and Pinto. Unfortunately I didn’t catch the other names. This was definitely my favorite hash of the month because I could run, drink beer and get naked! The perfect day.

 

 (The Old Barracks)

 (Sandy Hook Lighthouse)

 (The Old Gun Batteries)

(Shameless selfie)

The pictures from the naked beach will not be shared here; but, I must say I did look damn good!

May: the Hash Continues

On May 15^th, I ran my first race since having my left Achilles reattached and everything went really well. The Coventry Woods 10K was run in beautiful Coventry Woods Park in Pottstown, PA. Both the 5K and the 10K started together completing a short loop before heading up into the hills. The two races split around mile one as the 10K continued to climb. The first half was mostly uphill which meant the second half would be more to my liking. I’ve always been a better downhill runner than up and have been told I border on reckless. To me running downhill is almost a religious experience. In the split second I am free falling down the hill I have to have faith that my foot is going to find something solid to land on. By keeping my knees bent and my feet moving fast I feel less likely to twist an ankle and this is where I pass the most people. In fact all the times I have twisted my ankles over the years have come on relatively flat sections of trail. The race was a good test to let me know how my recovery is truly going and while my overall speed is not back yet I am very happy with my progress.

 

Other than running the Coventry Woods 10K my ambition to race lately has taken a back seat to my ambition to just run and have a good time doing it. This has led me to seeking out more Hash runs. My last post told the story of two hash runs I ran in April but I didn’t explain what a hash run is. Now if you are already a Hasher you’re probably rolling your eyes so just have a down-down (drink) and gaze at the pictures while I educate the rest.

"The premise is simple, one harrier (the hare) lays a trail of flour over a course (s)he chooses. The other harriers (the hounds) try to follow that trail to the end where we enjoy munchies and beer (or soft drinks for those disinclined to imbibe). The typical hash is 3-5 miles over hill and dale, through suburbs, woods, malls, et al. The hash isn't a race - no prizes to the swift. Following the trail is the challenge, camaraderie and beverages are the rewards" (www.harrier.net). These trails also include many false trails which aren’t used just to mess with the hounds but also serve a real purpose, to keep the pack together. While the front runners are searching for the real trail the slower runners have a chance to catch up. The goal is for everyone to reach the finish around the same time and have a lot of fun doing so. All hashes end with a circle where accusations and penalties (in the form of drinks) are paid along with announcements of future events and assigning hash names to previously un-named participants that did something memorable on-trail.

I visited the Bimbos of Jersey Hash House Harriers (BJH3) on May 27^th for an evening hash. We had daylight to start out but our headlamps were soon needed which added to the difficulty to find the true trail. Working together we found our way back to the host’s house where she had food and beverage waiting for us. When the circle was complete we gathered around the camp fire while “Rear End Wrangler” entertained us with song and jokes. Most camped there overnight as well.

 

 Identity hidden for National security purposes (doesn't want to be embarrassed about getting stuck).

 

On May 29^th I hared the second McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst Hash House Harriers (MDLH3) hash in Country Lakes, NJ. We had a good turnout with 18 hashers and three dogs searching for the correct trail through the forest. I included a section thru what I named the Browns Mills Marina. It’s actually just a couple boats that have been dragged out into the woods by some locals to use as a paintball area. I took the hounds up, not across, the Greenwood Branch Creek which felt amazingly refreshing on an otherwise blistering humid day. There was a "clothing optional" section for those that dared to be bare (no photos available nor would you want them). I also included three beverage (aka beer) stops along the way to keep everyone well hydrated. Fun was had by all and that’s what its all about; running and having a good time doing it!  

2014 Back to the Couch

 

So this is going to be less about running than I would like it to be but here it goes. With hind sight being perfect, I guess Sunday January 19, 2014 turned out to be a glimpse into my future. While running the Batona Trail leg 5 out and back my left Achilles tightened up and I was forced to do a survival shuffle for miles 17-19. And now, in December I sit on my couch with a throbbing foot trying to take my mind off the pain of yesterday’s Achilles surgery. The year that started with a great 16 miles of trails on January 2nd has come to an abrupt end with my foot in a cast. This is the story of how I got here. I had some great runs in January including a bunch on the Cranberry, Mt Misery and Batona Trails. My favorite run was a night time solo run on the Cranberry Trail in 4 degree weather, 9 inches of fresh powder, and the woods all to myself. I also started using our newly purchased Total Gym and increased my yoga workouts.

February was nothing special really. I had a few good runs but my Achilles was tight most of the month so I backed off on the miles and increased the yoga. The best part of the month was visiting my friends in Albania for a week. Though I didn’t run at all that week I did get a lot of walking in. Another high point was having a five hour layover in Rome which gave opportunity for a very quick walking tour of some piazzas and the Coliseum. It was so beautiful, Rome is definitely on my future vacation list. My only race was the Ugly Mudder Trail Race in Reading, PA. Besides being really hilly this year’s race had the addition of over a foot of fresh snow and a layer of crust to top it off. This turned the trail into mostly single track with plenty of blood stains from the crust cutting people’s ankles open.

March was amazing and my favorite month this year. I spent the entire month in Albania working and hanging out with great friends. I worked out every day running, hiking, lifting and yoga sessions. I helped a group of very professional Albanian military instructors prepare their Officer Candidates to travel to New Jersey where they would attend U.S. Officer Candidate School. I ate a lot of meat and drank a lot of raki (AKA moonshine). The most amazing day was spent on Maja e Kruja where I participated in a pilgrimage into the Bektashi temple located in a cliff-side cave high above the ancient city of Kruja. This was followed by about 3 hours of feasting on fresh meats, breads and fruit. The day ended with a professional futbol (soccer) game between KF Tirana and KF Partizani at Qemal Stafa in downtown Tirana. It was an exciting game which included fires in the stands, explosives thrown onto the field, and ended in a tie with a last minute Partizani score. I met up with friends and finished the evening off with some more food and a lot more raki! Other favorite spots visited included an ancient Roman amphitheater in the seaside city of Durres and a guided tour of the National Art Museum thanks to my good friend Tea who works there.

 

 

  

April and May seemed to fly by so quickly. I had some great runs including Whites Bogs on Mondays, Cranberry Trail Wednesday nights, Tyler Arboretum and Triple Crown trail races and a hash run hosted by three-balls at his Pennsylvanian Barn of Amazement which includes an actual fighter plane hanging from the rafters.  Oh yeah and I finally scored a perfect 300 on my Army Physical Fitness Test! I also co-haired Jim Pate’s Birthday Hash and received my hash name, of which I can not publish here.

During June my left Achilles grew tighter and tighter and the knot on my heel got larger with each run and I required more days off between each workout. I raced the Wissahickon Trail Classic in Philly and my all-time favorite race, the annual Bouncing Buns clothing-optional trail race at Sunny Rest Resort in Palmerton, PA! As the soccer season started in July, my struggle with my left Achilles grew worse. My running shrunk to just the time I was on the pitch and even that was a daily struggle. Even though I couldn't train much I ran the River-to-Sea 91 mile relay race across New Jersey August 2nd with a great group of friends from the Pineland Striders. We didn't score very high but we had a great day running anyways starting at the Delaware River and ending on the beach in Manasquan, NJ. Then it happened, on August 11^th during the soccer playoffs, just as I broke free past the last defender down the right line I heard a pop and fell to the ground. It felt like a rubber band had snapped. My game was done and so was my year. An MRI a couple days later confirmed my suspicion, I had torn my Achilles. On a good note, our team went on to beat the Jamaican team in the finals 3-1 to win the tournament.     

September, October and November was full of physical therapy and a lot of limping but no running. Finally, on December 12 I got a bone spur removed and my Achilles repaired so now I sit on my couch with my foot in a cast waiting and dreaming of getting back out on the trails. I know it won’t happen for a few more months but I'm looking forward to lacing up my Inov-8s and taking that first step. With my knee fixed in 2013 and now my Achilles in 2014 I know 2015 is going to be a great year!

Bouncing Buns 7K "Clothing Optional" Trail Race

The 3^rd annual Bouncing Buns 7K trail race was held at the “Clothing Optional” Sunny Rest Resort in Palmerton, PA on Saturday, June 23, 2012. The race continues to grow each year. There were 46 finishers in 2010, 105 in 2011, and 145 finishing this year. It supports the Cancer Society and is a great way to enjoy nature. The race is managed and timed by www.pretzelcitysports.com. It’s run on well marked and well groomed trails entirely within the resorts 190 acres. The course starts and finishes in front of the owner, Myra Mesher’s house. It does a short loop on the road, and then makes its way into the woods at the top of the only steep hill. It is approximately 75% shaded on single and double track trails. There are a few spots where the rhododendron bushes form long tunnels the runners pass through. The last mile winds its way around the camping area with plenty of spectators cheering on the runners as they bounce along.

With temperatures in the 90s, the mid-way water station was well appreciated and participants passed it in each direction. There was also a gentleman spraying runners with his hose cool us down prior to the last hill sprint to the finish. Approximately 80% of this years participants were partially or completely nude as were the spectators. Participants came from 9 states, as well as Canada and Brazil. Ages ranged from 19 to 68 years young with a ratio of 30% female/70% male.

 

            The resort offers motel rooms, tent, camper, and RV sites. There are a number of cabins available for seasonal stays for members as well as a few year-round homes on site. Race participants and their guests have full use of the facilities on race day. While the race was conducted on the hill, the awards were handed out beside the pool. While the resort is “clothing optional”, no swim wear is allowed in the pool or hot. Most participants stayed for the BBQ after the awards and listened to the live music.

             Resort amenities include nature trails, heated swimming pool, heated conversation pool, sand volleyball, bar and restaurant next to the pool, couples massage, fitness room, hot tub, night club, tennis courts, yoga classes, basketball, billiards, ping pong, children’s playground, and store. Sunny Rest Resort opened in 1945 and is a family-friendly resort. They have events every weekend from mid-May to mid-September. Events include such things as Murder Mystery and Dinner Show, volleyball (sand and water) and tennis tournaments, Beer Festival, dive-in movies at the pool, live and DJ music, poolside “Grillin’ and Chillin’ BBQ, karaoke and open mike nights, costume and theme nights in the night club, and much more. For more information on events, rates, and directions visit them at www.sunnyrest.com. Until next years race, take it off and go for a run.