H.A.S.H. Hash, Hash, Hash!

After a slow month of hashing in August, I ran 7 Hash runs in September. I ran with Bimbos of Jersey H3, MDL H3, Summit H3, Rumson H3 (The Hells Angels of Hashing), and I even “Picked the NOSE” 4 times. NOSE or "North Of Seventy Eight" are so named because they almost always run north of Interstate 78 which crosses the northern part of New Jersey. I’ll start this month' recap with the NOSE hashes. September 1^st I drove up to Short Hills, NJ. Deer Bitch once again set trail for NOSE #127, this time taking us thru the Short Hills Train Station tunnel and winded our way up and down the single-track trails inside the beautiful Cora Hartshorn Arboretum & Bird Sanctuary.

 

 

 (Trail down thru the train tunnel)

 (Dinner after the hash)

Next, NOSE switched from Thursdays to Wednesdays for the winter. NOSE #129 was held in Morristown, NJ and hared by Wet Spot. I arrived a little early only to find myself being questioned by the police as to why there were weird marks on the ground near me made from some unknown white powder. Some local kids had found it and called 911 reporting that someone had thrown "Handfuls of Anthrax around the parking lot". I explained to them that there was a running club doing a trail run and that our host had used biodegradable flour to mark the trail. I left out the part that we would be consuming beer on trail as that might have caused another problem.  The rest of the hashers arrived at the parking lot just as the police were leaving and we all had a good laugh about it. Wet Spot's trail took us thru the beautiful trails of Jockey Hollow Top Preserve and the surrounding hills with one beer stop at a cute little abandoned school house. Then we finished the last ¾ miles up the steep and winding Bailey Hollow Road.

(The motley crew)

 (Into the shiggy)

 (Unofficial pit stop; I wish they were throwing away some Guinness)

 

NOSE #130 was short but not without its own memorable moments. Anal set trail which took us on a pub crawl around and thru the Rockaway Mall. The 10 of us made our way into Red Robin Pub, around the hectic children's carousel area, and finally to Buffalo Wild Wings, which was going to be only beer stop number 2. It quickly became our last stop as well as our On-after once we found out it was $2 draft night…all drafts, even Guinness! Nuff said.

 

 ($2 drafts...including Guinness!!!)

NOSE #131 turned into a very dark search for the flour trail on a damp and overcast night. Towelless set trail in Whippany, NJ thru some interesting roads and trails including under a bridge, thru head-high shiggy, a very dark forest, crossing a slippery stream, and even under a train! We had pizza delivered to the parking lot for the On-after.

 (Trail went under the train)

MDL H3 Hash #6 took place at Presidential Lakes and was hared and hosted by Bragadeer General. Relying on our headlamps, we set off around 8pm into the surrounding forest. We ran mostly single-track trail and fire breaks, thru sand pit and swamp stopping off twice for some adult beverage. Cuff Diver and myself were first to the “J-check” where we found mixed shot bottles. We had to run them back to the last person and consume the shots before continuing on. Bragadeer and his wife Just Sharon graciously hosted us with a great BBQ, a warm fire and plenty of cold beer.

(Beer stop #1 with Traildog Sparta aka "Autofelatio")

  (One of the stream crossings)

 (My new hash pants!)

Bimbos of Jersey held the "Pre-Papoose Memorial Hash - Hash” in Highlands, NJ. The Pre-lube and On-after were hosted by Whomp’em in the private lot next to her shop, Gert’s Snacks & Spices. It was a small group but what a great group it was! In attendance were: Rear end Wrangler, Great Sex, In the Bush, Wet Spot, Jersey A$$hole, Dog-E Style, Whomp’em and myself "F.L.A.T.".  Wrangler set a short 2 mile trail thru town with beer stops at the Inland Café, the town beach and Andy’s Shore Bar before returning back to Gert’s where most camped for the night. Someone practiced at the beach beer stop for the next day’s “Clothing Optional” hash by skinny dipping. I heard the name was F’s like a Tank? Oh, wait…that’s me. Ha, any excuse to get naked. On a serious side, Gert is a fantastic cook and if she is reading this…thank you again, your food was great!

 (Beer stop #1, Inland Café)

 (Beer stop #2, the site of the lone skinny dipper)

 (Beer stop #3, Andy' Shore Bar)

The next day, about 30 hashers from around the state showed up for the annual Papoose Memorial Hash at Gunnison “Clothing Optional” Beach on Sandy Hook, NJ. This was a combination Rumson and Summit production. Elephant D**k laid trail taking us thru the Old Barracks area, past the Light House, thru the Gun Batteries, and to the new Viewing Tower on the north end before ending on the “Clothing Optional” part of the beach. Whomp’em once again supplied the great feast for those of us that stayed to enjoy the beach and the scenery…well some of the scenery anyways. Those in attendance that I can remember included: everyone from the previous night Rear end Wrangler, Great Sex, In the Bush, Wet Spot, Jersey A$$hole, Dog-E Style, Whom’em and myself. Also attending were: Elephant D**K, G.I., Mr. Jackson, No Genitals, P**sy Destroyer, Just Karen, Just Harold, Chili, Riverman, Miscat, Butt Naked, Nearly Dead and Pinto. Unfortunately I didn’t catch the other names. This was definitely my favorite hash of the month because I could run, drink beer and get naked! The perfect day.

 

 (The Old Barracks)

 (Sandy Hook Lighthouse)

 (The Old Gun Batteries)

(Shameless selfie)

The pictures from the naked beach will not be shared here; but, I must say I did look damn good!

August Hash Report

On-On, August was a slow hash month for me as I only made it to three events. I travelled to Garwood and Short Hills, NJ to run with the NOSE (North of Seventy Eight) H3 group. I like running in north Jersey because I can usually get in a good hill workout while drinking their beer, a great combination! The hash on Thursday August 18 was a combination Summit Full Moon H3, Summit H3, and NOSE H3 effort. No Genitals and Semper Feline set a nice trail thru the streets of Garwood with a single beer stop near Unami Park. We finished the night up with the On-after at the Station Bar & Grill. The following Thursday night I headed up to Short Hills, NJ for NOSE #126 hared by Deer Bitch. Luckily he pre-layed the trail because he had to leave quickly due to an emergency. Since Deer Bitch was also to be at the beer stop we were left pondering if we were actually expected to run the entire 3-4 mile trail without beer. Luckily, Douche Brag volunteered to carry everyone’s beer in a backpack so we wouldn’t go thirsty. Disaster avoided! We had the On-after at Scotty’s Pub & Comedy Cove in Springfield, NJ.

(Beer in the backpack and ready to run)

(Modern-day petroglyph?)

 

My third and final hash for August was with MDL (McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst) H3 on Saturday 27th. My dog, Traildog Sparta, and I co-hared a 5 mile trail at our favorite place to run, historic Whites Bog, NJ. We had a small turnout of only 9 counting the 2 dogs but good nonetheless. Bragadeer General and his dog Lager Dog (aka Traildog Danny), Tin Tin, Cunning Linguist, Kojak, Just James, Just Marie, Traildog Sparta and myself. I usually live-hare the trails but on this day I chose to pre-lay it so I could man the 3 beer stops. That’s right…we had 3 beer stops on the 5 mile trail! The second beer stop was set up on what I call Beer Island; but, on this day Beer Island was under water so what to do? Set it up there anyways (picture below). Besides, the water felt great on the 90 degree day. Another memorable moment that day was that my dog Traildog Sparta earned his hash name, “Autofelatio” at the circle. He earned it because he can! Finally, the evening ended with a live concert behind the Whitesbog General Store where Full Moon Risin’ played for about 2 hours.

(Setting trail)

(Traildog Sparta suggested this section of trail)

 (True trail)

 (Shiggy section)

(Traildog Sparta also added this section of trail)

 (Beer Island was underwater)

 (We used Beer Island anyways)

 (Full Moon Risin' first set)

(Full Moon Risin' second set)

 

 

 

Tropical Storm Earl Visits

 

I spent the first two weeks of August at my house in the Knockpatrick part of Mandeville, Jamaica to do some clearing of my property and spend some time with my wife, Denise, who has been living there since we bought the house last September. While there we had an uninvited visitor show up, Tropical Storm Earl. While Earl didn’t stay long, only about six or eight hours, he did dump a lot of water on us and blew over some of my banana plant…what a jerk. The problem with bananas is that they have really small root balls for such a large, heavy plant and they only root in about 6-12 inches deep. That’s fine when its dry out but when it rains hard and the ground softens up they become very susceptible to falling over due to being top heavy. Its like kicking the Cool-Aid man in the leg...he's going to fall over and break. The good thing is you can usually prop them back up and they’ll continue growing. Earl knocked three of mine over but I was able to save them all so Denise will still be able to enjoy them soon when they ripen.  



 (Normal view across the road)

(Tropical Storm Earl's rain making the hill across the road disappear)

(Damage to the bananas)

(Propping up the bananas)

Besides the fact that Denise was born in Jamaica, the main reason we chose Jamaica as our retirement destination is due to the year-round growing season for fruits and vegetables. I love the fact we can grow our own food all year and not have to rely on a grocery store. Here are some pictures of our food growing on our property. 

 (Young lime tree)

 (Tangerine)

 (Coconut)

 (Plum)

(Pimento)

(Okra) 

 (Peppermint bush for tea)

 (Blackberry)

 (Bird peppers, tiny but very hot!)

(Cherry)

 (Mandarin)

 (Sugar cane)

 (Grapefruit)

(Scallion, Dashine, Coco, orange...)

I also like the fact that our home is off the water grid. We use a full-roof rain collection system which feeds into a huge holding tank in our back yard. It then runs through a filter in our garage on its way into the ready tank inside our roof. Even though the island has suffered its worst drought in years, it rains almost every day up on our mountain so our water system is always full. The best part about it is i's free!

(Our holding tank is about 5 feet underground as well)

 

We also plan to get off the electric grid in the future by installing a hybrid wind/solar combination system called Solarmill from Windstream Technologies. Since we have an almost constant breeze on the mountain, we should be able to generate power both day and night with this type of system. More information can be found on their company page: https://www.windstream-inc.com/