After a slow month of hashing in August, I ran 7 Hash runs in September. I ran with Bimbos
of Jersey H3, MDL H3, Summit H3, Rumson H3 (The Hells Angels of Hashing), and
I even “Picked the NOSE” 4 times. NOSE or "North Of Seventy Eight" are so named because they almost always run north of Interstate 78 which crosses the northern part of New Jersey. I’ll start this month' recap with the NOSE hashes.
September 1st I drove up to Short Hills, NJ. Deer Bitch once again
set trail for NOSE #127, this time taking us thru the Short Hills Train Station
tunnel and winded our way up and down the single-track trails inside the
beautiful Cora Hartshorn Arboretum & Bird Sanctuary.
(Trail down thru the train tunnel)
(Dinner after the hash)
Next, NOSE switched from Thursdays to Wednesdays for the winter. NOSE #129 was held in Morristown, NJ and hared by Wet Spot. I arrived a little early only to find myself being questioned by the police as to why there were weird marks on the ground near me made from some unknown white powder. Some local kids had found it and called 911 reporting that someone had thrown "Handfuls of Anthrax around the parking lot". I explained to them that there was a running club doing a trail run and that our host had used biodegradable flour to mark the trail. I left out the part that we would be consuming beer on trail as that might have caused another problem. The rest of the hashers arrived at the parking lot just as the police were leaving and we all had a good laugh about it. Wet Spot's trail took us thru
the beautiful trails of Jockey Hollow Top Preserve and the
surrounding hills with one beer stop at a cute little abandoned school house. Then
we finished the last ¾ miles up the steep and winding Bailey Hollow Road.
(The motley crew)
(Into the shiggy)
(Unofficial pit stop; I wish they were throwing away some Guinness)
NOSE #130 was short but not without its own memorable
moments. Anal set trail which took us on a pub crawl around and thru the
Rockaway Mall. The 10 of us made our way into Red Robin Pub, around the hectic children's carousel
area, and finally to Buffalo Wild Wings, which was going to be only beer stop
number 2. It quickly became our last stop as well as our On-after once we found out it was $2
draft night…all drafts, even Guinness! Nuff said.
($2 drafts...including Guinness!!!)
NOSE #131 turned into a very dark search for the flour trail
on a damp and overcast night. Towelless set trail in Whippany, NJ thru some
interesting roads and trails including under a bridge, thru head-high shiggy, a
very dark forest, crossing a slippery stream, and even under a train! We had
pizza delivered to the parking lot for the On-after.
(Trail went under the train)
MDL H3 Hash #6 took place at Presidential Lakes and was
hared and hosted by Bragadeer General. Relying on our headlamps, we set off
around 8pm into the surrounding forest. We ran mostly single-track trail and
fire breaks, thru sand pit and swamp stopping off twice for some adult
beverage. Cuff Diver and myself were first to the “J-check” where we found
mixed shot bottles. We had to run them back to the last person and consume the shots
before continuing on. Bragadeer and his wife Just Sharon graciously hosted us
with a great BBQ, a warm fire and plenty of cold beer.
(Beer stop #1 with Traildog Sparta aka "Autofelatio")
(One of the stream crossings)
(My new hash pants!)
Bimbos of Jersey held the "Pre-Papoose Memorial Hash - Hash” in
Highlands, NJ. The Pre-lube and On-after were hosted by Whomp’em in the private
lot next to her shop, Gert’s Snacks & Spices. It was a small group but what
a great group it was! In attendance were: Rear end Wrangler, Great Sex, In the
Bush, Wet Spot, Jersey A$$hole, Dog-E Style, Whomp’em and myself "F.L.A.T.". Wrangler set a short 2 mile trail thru town with beer stops at the Inland Café,
the town beach and Andy’s Shore Bar before returning back to Gert’s where most
camped for the night. Someone practiced at the beach beer stop for the next
day’s “Clothing Optional” hash by skinny dipping. I heard the name was F’s like
a Tank? Oh, wait…that’s me. Ha, any excuse to get naked. On a serious side,
Gert is a fantastic cook and if she is reading this…thank you again, your food
was great!
(Beer stop #1, Inland Café)
(Beer stop #2, the site of the lone skinny dipper)
(Beer stop #3, Andy' Shore Bar)
The next day, about 30 hashers from around the state showed
up for the annual Papoose Memorial Hash at Gunnison “Clothing Optional” Beach
on Sandy Hook, NJ. This was a combination Rumson and Summit production. Elephant
D**k laid trail taking us thru the Old Barracks area, past the Light House,
thru the Gun Batteries, and to the new Viewing Tower on the north end before
ending on the “Clothing Optional” part of the beach. Whomp’em once again
supplied the great feast for those of us that stayed to enjoy the beach and the
scenery…well some of the scenery anyways. Those in attendance that I can
remember included: everyone from the previous night Rear end Wrangler, Great
Sex, In the Bush, Wet Spot, Jersey A$$hole, Dog-E Style, Whom’em and myself.
Also attending were: Elephant D**K, G.I., Mr. Jackson, No Genitals, P**sy
Destroyer, Just Karen, Just Harold, Chili, Riverman, Miscat, Butt Naked, Nearly
Dead and Pinto. Unfortunately I didn’t catch the other names. This was
definitely my favorite hash of the month because I could run, drink beer and
get naked! The perfect day.
(The Old Barracks)
(Sandy Hook Lighthouse)
(The Old Gun Batteries)
(Shameless selfie)
The pictures from the naked beach will not be shared here; but, I must say I did look damn good!
